The Reel Raven only ever appears in the dark. Reviews are delivered at the stroke of midnight, typed on what sounds like an old typewriter and sealed with a single black feather.

Nobody has seen the Raven in daylight. Nobody has asked twice.

Some say the Raven has watched every film ever released, twice, and once more with the director's commentary. Others say they grew up in the projection booth of an old picture house and learned to talk by quoting trailers.

What we do know is that the Reel Raven can spot a plot hole from the back row and a great performance from the car park. Their star ratings are final. Arguing with them is not recommended.

Five stars are rare. Feathers are rarer.

The Reel Raven reviews films and television for Geek Devil, and has never once been seen buying a ticket.

A few things we know about The Reel Raven:

• Can review a film from the poster alone. Chooses not to.
• Has never fallen asleep in a cinema. Cinemas fall asleep around them.
• Their popcorn bucket is bottomless. This has been tested.
• Knows exactly when to leave for the toilet without missing a scene.
• Owns a cape. It has its own wardrobe.
• Reads every end credit. Every single name.

Lights down. Phones off. The Raven is watching.